Parting Isn't A Sweet Sorrow

There is truth in every Cliché

Dutch girl,

I never really believed in love at first sight, but when I first laid my eyes on you and my heart went giddy, I knew I was hooked. You blew me away. I had butterflies in my stomach, not knowing what to say and do. As luck would have it, I was able to muster enough courage to break the ice and strike a conversation with you. I realized then that the clock was ticking, as I was about to leave on a jet plane in a few hours. I said to myself that I’m gonna kiss this girl, come hell or high water. No guts, no glory. Though haste makes waste, a faint heart never a true love knows. So I stopped beating around the bush, took up the gauntlet and went for the jugular. It was like heaven on earth when you kissed me back. Suddenly, it felt like everything's coming up roses. I was grinning from ear to ear.

Absence does indeed make the heart grow fonder, as I quickly learned. It seemed like every waking hour was spent thinking about you. I’ve always felt the wooziness whenever the kiss we shared crosses my mind. I tried mightily to get you out of my mind, immersing myself in my work, to keep my sanity. I was busting my balls, so to speak. Did a lot of other things too, as all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I knew I should not get my hopes high, for your heart belongs to someone else. As they say, when something seems too good to be true, it must be.

I knew my back was up against the wall. If I wanted anything to come out of this, I should be ready for an uphill climb, a no holds barred fight, just to have a shot. I did get myself prepared to do whatever it takes, go out with guns blazing and to throw everything but the kitchen sink. It was totally out of character and not my cup of tea, but I was willing to change overnight. A man can not discover new oceans unless he has courage to lose sight of the shore. It was wrong, but a man has got to do, what a man has got to do. All is fair in love and war, I said to myself. I was armed to the teeth, even prepared to lose face, to get burned. I may not have much to offer and I’m definitely not the whole enchilada, nor do I have the whole caboodle, but what I felt was true. I wasn’t horsing around. I am definitely not a fly by night kind of guy.

So I did whatever little things I could. It wasn’t much because I was far and away. It was a tough row to hoe but I gave it a go. It felt like I wasn’t given my fair share, but beggars can’t be choosers. I called whenever I can, even if it was costing me an arm and a leg. Never did I complain, for the sound of your voice is like music to my ears.

Things started quite well, or so I thought, until everything went downhill. The cold shoulder you’ve been giving me all this time is like a dagger to the heart. I needed them like I need a hole in my head. I now feel that I’ve overstayed my welcome and that I have bitten more than I could chew. Jockeying for position in your life was more difficult than I initially thought. Maybe I was blinded with the false hopes that the ground is pushing up daisies that I failed to see the complete picture. I was looking at the world through rosy colored glasses.

This whole emotional roller coaster is driving me nuts, and I don’t think I can take it anymore. All is my fault though. I should have looked before I leapt. I’m now at the end of my rope, with no lifeline to take. I have everything figured out finally. It took a while I know, and it ain’t even rocket science. I was dumb as a stump. All I had was a fool’s gold.

I’ll be going home soon. All my bags are packed and I’m ready to go. This is the moment I’ve been looking forward to the whole time, the chance to see you again. God only knows how much I missed you. Sadly, that’s not an option I could take. I am choosing to put an end to this lunacy, to my fatuous desires, with the hopes that I’ll eventually come out of this unscathed. I am waiving the white flag, rather than prolong the agony of a long lost battle. I admit failure. I was dealt a fatal blow and I got cleaned out. I am milk toast. I can’t stand the heat, so I’m getting out of the kitchen. I’ve seen the handwriting in the wall. I desperately wanted to believe that there is still light at the end of the tunnel, but that would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. I have no more ace up my sleeve. Not the ghost of a chance.

There are no words for emptiness. With visions of redemption, I walk against the crowd. I have to lick my wound, pick-up the pieces and get back up on the horse.

Goodbye is not an easy word to say.

Life sucks.

Indo boy

Bahasa 101

I, me – saya, aku
we, us – kita
them – mereka
him, her – dia
this – ini
that - itu
what – apa
when – kapan
why – kanapa
how – bagaimana

one – satu
two – dua
three – tiga
four – empat
five – lima
six – anam
seven – tudju
eight – delapan
nine – sembilan
ten – sepuluh
100 – seratus
1,000 – seribu
10,000 – sepuluh ribu
100,000 – seratus ribu
1,000,000 – satu juta
1,000,000,000 – satu milyar
9,876,543 – sembilan juta delapan ratus tudju nam ribu lima ratus empat tiga

mau – want
perlu, butuh – need
harus – must
ada – have
yes – ya
no, not – tidak, bukan
makan – eat
minum – drink
lapar – hungry
haus – thirsty
sakit – sick, ill
sehat – well
same, similar – sama
beda – different
good – bagus
bad – jelek
water – air (a-īr)
wind - angin
basketball – bola basket
road hump – pulisi tidur (sleeping police)
fuck you - pakyu

Oh Johnny

Courtesy of Chocoboy

Oh Johnny let’s not park here

Oh Johnny let’s not park

Oh Johnny let’s not

Oh Johnny let’s

Oh Johhny

Oh….