Lost in Translation

more clichés than you can shake a stick at


Indo boy,

So you’re going home again. Looking forward to seeing me again huh? Wishing to make up for lost time? I’d bet my bottom dollar you are expecting a lot. Better hold your horses but don’t hold your breath mate. I’m afraid faith won’t smile your way this time. I’m sorry to bust your bubble but things are quite different now. There are lots of things going on with my life right now that I don’t think I could squeeze meeting up with you.

I really appreciate all the attention you’ve been giving me. It’s flattering and all. It’s kinda sweet of you to tell me how much I mean to you and how much you miss me, but flattery will get you nowhere. You just can’t hit the broad side of a barn. It’s not you, it’s me. Not! I think it’s time for me to clear the air once and for all. The truth is, it’s you. Physically, you’re just not my type. You have a face only a mother could love. Personality-wise, you don’t quite cut it either. By and large you bore me to death. I say to-mah-to, you say to-may-to. We just don’t click. You don’t make the grade in any way, shape or form. I am way out of your league boy. We are worlds apart. From day one, you never really had the chance.

Ah the first kiss. You should know that you just caught me off guard. I was drunk as a skunk then so I just went with the flow. Yes, I did spend a lot of time with you the last time you were here. The happiest times of your life you said. Sweet. You were like a kid in a candy store. I’m sorry to bust your chops again, but I can’t say the same thing for me. Not even close. I’m not quite sure why I did it. Maybe due to the lack of better things to do. Or maybe I did it out of pity. I gave you an inch and you took a mile. Don’t ever make a mountain out of a molehill. You’re way in over your head to think that there’s more to that. You should have taken it for what it is – pretty much nothing. Nada. Zilch. You even had the gall to ask me to marry you?? Shiver me timbers. Where did that come from? No way Jose! As if! I just told you that ‘it’s too soon’ because I didn’t want to be a party-pooper, but you should know that it will be a cold day in hell before that happens.

You’ve been a thorn in my side. You’re advances are as welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. Didn’t you notice that I’ve been avoiding you like the plague? I wonder why subtlety can get lost on some people. Ignoring your calls and messages wasn’t an invitation for you to try to do more, comprende? I am so sick of it.

I’m terribly sorry for being so matter-of-fact. I didn’t want to get down to the nitty-gritty. I wanted you to get in on your own, read between the lines and put two and two together. But the elevator doesn’t seem to go to the top floor. Maybe I was speaking in riddles. I wish I drove the point home this time. I hope I made myself as clear as crystal. Hurting now? I couldn’t care less. You had it coming. You only have yourself to blame.

It’s time to accept reality and face the music. The light’s on but nobody is home. There’s no sense in beating a dead horse. No use crying over spilled milk. If I were in your shoes, I’d take it like a man and not bury my head in the sand. It’s over. The fat lady has sung.

Shit happens.

Goodbye =)

Dutch girl